Thursday, January 28, 2010

Weasels Rip My Flesh: The Super-Bomb-A-Licious Review

First things first, here's the deal: Weasels Rip My Flesh, Directed by Nathan Schiff in the year 1979, shot on color Super-8mm and in English.
The budget for this film was apparently around $400.

The debut feature length film from the man behind such notable short films as "Mission: Destroy", "The Day the Dog Went Insane" and "Katherine Khullman Lets It All Hang Out", "Weasels Rip My Flesh" is a heartwarming tale of a young boy and his pet weasel Jerry. No it's not actually, not at all. It's a horrendous nightmare vision brought on by radioactive space acid someone slipped into your Yoo-Hoo when you weren't looking. He may or may not have had a mustache.

The plot you ask? Take a wild fucking guess you dumbass. Yeah, exactly, it's about an already rabid weasel that got a bunch of radioactive space goo from the planet Saturn spilled all over him by some kids in Long Island, then becomes huge and gross and mutated and eats the shit out of everyone. Then some detective guys come in to the story somewhere along the line and they get all fucked up fighting this mad scientist that gets both of his arms ripped off. Oops, was that a spoiler? No it wasn't, because if knowing the plot spoils this movie for you then you are either not watching it for the right reasons or you are going into it sober, which is just stupid. I mean really. Actually, I didn't even spoil the best part... the very end of the movie... it's shocking and grotesque in a way seldom allowed to be spoken of, let alone filmed.


My favorite part of the entire movie is this one dude that gets bitten by the weasel but he is wearing flip-flops and when he is walking all rabid and crazy you can hear them going "flip...flop...flip...flop" all the way through the yard. He flips over a lawn chair too, pretty badass. maybe it's more like "shchpuk...shchpuk...shchpuk...", but you know the noise I'm talking about. Hilarious.

Here he is on the left...

The other amazing thing is that there are kids in it that swear a lot in the beginning. Usually that will do it for me every time, there's nothing quite like a well placed "Hey Asshole!".

Well, if you end up wanting to get down and boogie on the whole film then you can let 'er rip on the old Netflix or buy it from wherever you buy things. It is released by Image Entertainment, who I must say does a spectacular job on these old low-budget flicks. They put out a lot of the early Ted V. Mikels stuff as well... but that is a discussion for another time.

As always, love beer, love cheese and Love the smell of a westerly breeze.

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