Thursday, January 14, 2010

Radioactive Yeti Kills Nine: Eats Tongue

I just came across this super weird tale about a group of russian skiers that were mysteriously killed in the Ural Mountains back in 1959. It is officially called the "Dyatlov Pass Incident".

Basically These nine skiers were way the hell out in the middle of nowhere in the snowy mountains and were attacked and killed by something, but no one knows quite what. They all left their tent in the middle of the night, ripping their way out from inside, and had only underwear on. Some of the people had just one shoe, or sock, things like that. So in other words, they were in a wicked hurry and scared shitless so they got the fuck out of there. It was 25-30 below zero outside at the time. The first five bodies were found about 500 meters away from the tent and had died of hypothermia. The other four bodies were found some distance away in a ravine and 3 of them had fatal injuries. Two of them being crushed rib cages and the other having his skull caved in. One of the medical examiners said the force used to kill them would be comparable to a car crash. (or a Radioactive Yeti fist). The bodies had no external wounds, as if they were crippled by a high level of pressure and one of the women was found to be missing her tongue. This is interesting, the Yeti may have been in a rush for some reason or scared that more people were on their way, so he just grabbed the tongue and ripped it out since that is the quickest way to get the most nutritional value and it would be easy to carry away. check this out from the wiki on beef tongues....

"The human consumption of beef tongue dates back to the days of Paleolithic hunters, who preferred the fatty portions of the carcass including tongues, as well as organs, brains, feet, and marrow"

So basically my theory is that the Russian goverment was messing around with radioactive goo or whatever up in the Ural mountains and somehow they spilled it all over a Yeti, or got it into his water supply or who knows what else. Then the Yeti becomes radioactive and super pissed and kills a bunch of people. He is probably still roaming the forest as we speak, with glowing orange spheres around his fists like Quasar or something when he gets angry.

Be warned Radioactive Yeti exists.

So anyway, have you guys seen "Shriek of the Mutilated", "Snowbeast", and "The Capture of Bigfoot" yet? If you haven't then you should really get on it right away. You can get them all on one disc from netflix so it's kind of a no brainer, especially after reading about all this scary shit right here. You want to have as much knowledge about the Yeti as possible before you go into battle and you want to watch more movies with Buck Flower in them.


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